Dear World,
I'm a good person. So I'm finding it very difficult to come to terms with your actions over, shall we summarize to, the last six months. I have constantly put myself out into the fray, where my emotions would be at stake because I believe that someone might care about me the same way I care about others, and that I might be free to experience intimacy in the way we were all intended. Without those I open up to running away, or just hating what they see. I dont understand what is so dislikeable about me. People who are honest and straightforward when the moment is appropriate are the people who actually do the right thing rather than just looking like it. I dont want to be noone, then my dad wins. I dont want to be a failure, then my dad wins. I dont want to be alone, then I've become the thing I hate most in the world. I will not turn my back on those who would need me. But I cannot help others at my expsense, or else my own burdens will mount until I can no longer function. I want to let go of the hate. For the girl who I gave my heart to and had it tossed away like it was meaningless and later scorned as though it were repugnant. I am not so disgusting as the state of your soul. To the man who brought me into this world only to teach me everything that it lacked and that I would fail. I find my life has more value than you could even dream. To my mother who throuhg lack of understanding would make me a slave. I cannot take up the mantle that has been presented. To the girl I currently care about, you are worth waiting for....But I am worth being with. If you cant see that, then you deserve my heart no more than those who have thrown me away before. My value lies deep within, but it is there and I will not let it slip away. If you care, dont let me slip away from you.
-Your Friend
