Its time that I finally tell the truth to the world. That means myself included. Today I cried, to most people that might be one thing, but to me its an entirely different thing. I dont cry. Today is the first day I allowed myself to feel, feel the real pain that has been sitting there for five months being suppressed. I used someone to put a comfortable buffer over where I might be able to feel it so that I might be able to just push it away until it would disappear. It didnt dissappear, and now its time I admit it.
My Father constantly told me how nothing in the world that I did would be enough, in the end I would eventually fail. I never realized how much I took those words to heart, however through a blanket rejection. That Blanket rejection has hid the fact that I myself don't think I'm enough. Most people who know me know my arrogant outward appearance which masks a level of insecurity combined with the fact that the way I rejected him was to prove to the world over and over and over again that I could handle anything that it could toss at me. I did, I took on the world, but I never took on myself, where I was failing myself with every time I needed to practice, everytime I didnt reach my own expectation, everytime I wanted something I couldnt have. Each time the world put itself in my way, I shoved the world down into place, and shoved myself further down the hole where I admit that I'm constantly afraid. Afraid that really I'm not good enough. That noone likes who I am and never will. Unfortunately the world has a way of delivering to you exactly what you expect. Not that people dont like me, although to a small level that is correct, but that people see me for a person who isnt me. I'm a scared loving, wide-eyed ten year old who cant believe how beautiful and giant the world is.
I pushed you away and so with good reason you let me go to my comfortable distance, however my pushing actually was my way of inviting people in to accept who I am. However that time is far past, I've pushed everyone in Bellingham so far away that I'll never be whole there again. Especially as I dont know I'll ever stop feeling the hole in my heart there. The reason I mentioned all of this in combination with my tears is because I finally understand both why I still hurt because of Jordan and Me, and why I can't make everything work anymore. First, I havnt been making anything work I failed all of my courses that have happened since Jordan and I broke up. I havnt been whole and cant put my mental faculties to anything except dissecting what about me isnt/wasnt enough.
Once upon a time I gave my heart completely to another person for the first time, what I thought was love before was a sham. I was head over heels, I would have fought the whole world and given it to her on a silver platter, except I knew better as well. I just needed to be the support for her and take the world that she wanted. So I fought my natural instinct and supported her, and that was never good enough, and if I ever stepped up and got it for her through my actions, that was not right. I could never be the person that she needed, and I see now that I never was the person she needed because the person she wanted wasnt me. This became apparent when she decided that she wanted to go date other people while still seeing me. Effectively telling me in my head that I was useful to her and that she liked me but she wanted more than me, while telling me that she loved me and wanted to be with me(adding to my level of confusion). I've finally realized that I was good enough in a relationship, in fact I really really tried. It just wasnt the right relationship. However at the time I had no idea of this. I did trust her completely and wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. Yet she pushed me away like I was some sort of evil creature, somehow turned all of my good intentions into evil acts designed to make her miserable or try to get us back together again. Nothing could be further from the truth, I know better than to try to get together with someone who doesnt want you.
I still never cried though, I put my walls up. Walls that apparently are stronger than 3 rape victims and 2 attempted suicides that I talked out of it this quarter through just openly sharing. Their walls seem simple and have easy triggers. I just dont feel I'll ever be good enough, my friends always need something more from me that I cant give to them that they then disappear because of, my romantic life has been a giant excursion into not enough or not right for my partners. I want so much to feel close and cared for for who I am.
However I dont feel that because even I'm not sure if I feel it for myself. I know I should, I deserve that much, I deserve the same amount of love I want everyone else to have. But I dont know how to think I deserve anything when I feel worthless except for what I do for other people. I always say actions is what matter except that in the end, that leaves you without an entity behind the actions. I'm just a person who heals, who is there for people, who acts to make the world a better place. But I never, am. I cried today because I realized that I am worth something inherently, but I dont know what that means. I cried because I wanted to experience the feeling of completion accompanying love that binds you and another person completely working towards your goals together. However I'd have to be something besides an action, and the person I'm with would have to see me for that. Even though right now I'm not sure what that is.
I've looked at religion again and realized that I dont know anymore, the experiential knowledge has passed and doubt has consumed me once again. The only person who seems content with whoever I am is my mother, and by definition she doesnt count because she's my mother. I want to be me and experience the glory and power I feel from within, but I feel cut down from my internal thoughts.
Jordan, I did love you. I wished that we were meant to work out, I thought that if you let me I could have fixed all the problems. The problem with all my logic was that is was preceded by the core problem inside of me, which had no idea who I am. I see better now, and see why we ended when we did. My tears have broken what psychologists and friends and hours and hours of talking has not accomplished, given me closure. I deserve happiness, Jordan you deserve happiness and if you were never going to get that from me I'm glad that you had the fortitude to ask for what you truly wanted rather than settling for me. Some people arnt meant to be together and I'm smart enough to learn that. No matter how late I might be to the party.
Alissa, I owe you many thanks. You've kept me walking closer to a healthier line, rather than dropping off to sleeping around or trying to fight to make others experience the same level of unhappiness I've been living in.
Ana, I'm sorry that we used each other the way we did. I think it may all turn out for the best for both of us...But I didnt even realize what I was doing until 2 days ago.
I'll be happy eventually.
I'm moving home to Vancouver, dont worry I wont be living at home for long, to finish off school and to start life with a fresh slate. I dont want to fight, I dont want to have to endure just to survive when I can forge for myself a better life where life is based off of my principles and values and I start to act in accordance to who I am. Life is one terribly confusing mess of a place and where your parents start the job, dating seals the deal on helping you along to doubting every edge of your existence not anymore.
I'm done with dating for 3-6 months and when I start looking again I intend to look for a person who wants the same things I do out of life so that I can have a serious relationship which is something that I deserve.
Anyone that is reading this and cares, I appreciate your interest in my bussiness and I hope you the best and if theres anything I can do for you let me know, I'm always here for anyone who's in need.
Love,
Chris
Monday, December 26, 2011
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Got Some Time- Here's a Nutshell
I.Extroverted Intuition as a function in itself
“Whenever Intuition predominates, a peculiar and unmistakable psychology results. Because extraverted intuition is oriented by the object, there is a marked dependence on external situations, but it is altogether different from the dependence of the sensation type. The intuitive is never to be found in the world of accepted reality-values, but he has a keen nose for anything new and in the making.”
Intuition, in the Jungian sense of the term is an irrational function, or unconscious. Its primary focus is on collection of information. Intuition by the nature of itself is abstract and therefore closer in tune with the realm of imagination than with the realm of the senses. Leanor Thomson has pointed out that Perceivers tend to be right-brained in a conventional sense of the notion and judgers left-brained. Or perhaps to perception in general. That notion seems amorphous, as we could well argue that INJs are more right-brained than many perceiving types because their inner life seems to embody almost all of the qualities we associate with right-brained characteristics. Namely those most closely associated with fluidity and creativity. The mind of an introverted Intuitionist is indeed unbounded by conscious judgments the minds of Types with a dominant judging function tend to be. However, one important phenomenon that we should take note of is that all of our intuitive perceptions were first inspired by external phenomena. Therefore Briggs’ approach to the Judging/Perceiving dichotomy has much merit in this respect. Namely that she regards Judging types as those approaching the external world with a judging function and intuitive types approaching the external world with an intuitive function. As we look further into the matter, we notice that Extroverted Judging types tend to have the easiest time perceiving the world in terms of concrete, conventionally established symbols. For this reason their approach to the outer world tends to be highly structured. Yet the approach of Extroverted perceivers, conversely, radically unstructured. Thus, Extroverted Perception is the radically right-brained faculty in the sense that Leanor Thomson has used the term, and Extroverted Judgment the radical left-brained faculty. On that account we may claim that the ENFP is one of the most right-brained oriented types. This is most distinctly represented by the marked preference for imagination over Sensation and Feeling over Thinking. The ENFP is more feeling oriented than its intuitive counterpart INFJ, as Introverted functions tend to be more loyal to their element than Extroverted, hence Introverted Feeling, augmented by Intuition makes the ENFP more dedicated to Feeling than the INFJ.
Through the aforementioned filters the outer world is incepted for us. Thus, an Extroverted Perceiver tends to be flexible in his perceptions, yet the Extroverted Judger tends to incept the environment in terms of the pre-existing concrete symbols. As we notice that the Extroverted Judgers tend to rely much more on the pre-established terms for their understanding of ideas. As for instance, it is very common for a Judger to say that they could not imagine the concept of yellow without the word yellow, yet very uncommon for a dominant Extroverted perceiver to make the same claim. For this reason, we shall argue that the Extroverted perceivers, with a slight exception in favor of Introverted Perceivers, tend to collect the soundest information. The Extroverted Perceiver is different from the Introverted Perceiver in the respect that he confronts the external environment directly, whilst the Introverted perceiver must first filter the environment through the apparatus of his own inner perceptions and then shift onto the Extroverted Judgment in order to make a decision. And only at that point he will be able to interact with the outer environment. Because of this, the Introverted perceivers tend to be the least spontaneous, as their access to the outer environment is contingent upon their inner perceptions which are remote from the immediate environment. Yet, the Extroverted perceivers, by contrast, which could be rightly deemed as an animus to the Introverted Perceivers tend to be the most spontaneous. As aforementioned, the reason for this is that they do not require contemplation for direct action, as their perceptions are always in tune with the outer world. In this regard they are even more action oriented than the dominant Extroverted Judging types, who require a plan of action, or external decisions in order to turn their wheels. ENFP identifies with the spontaneous camp even more so than the ENTP, as the judgment of this type tends to be less pronounced as Feeling tends to be less tough-minded and less stifling on raw External perceptions. This makes the ENFP especially adept at the art of improvisation, most clearly the case when it comes to dealing with people and the human element, yet could also lead to impulsiveness and poor decision making as a result of marked preference for perception over judgment. The Extroverted Perceiver deals with the outer world unconsciously, as the perceiving functions are by definition unconscious. Thus, here again we notice that the EP type requires least contemplation to prepare for action of all 4. This leads to the sense of quickness the EP types tend to be renowned for. We should note that Extroverted perception can very easily be misunderstood for hyperactivity and inherent inability to focus because information tends to be incepted into the mind of an EP in a torrential fashion. As there is no grid of extroverted judgment in the outer world of the EP.
Thus the information is filtered only by the auxiliary Introverted Judgment which tends to be subordinate to the Extroverted Perception. Therefore there is little hindrance to the way the information is being perceived. Another reason the EP tends to be ‘all over the place’ is the fact that they do not have an internal agenda to how information is to be collected. This, for the ENFP is slightly compensated by the presence of tertiary Extroverted Thinking which provides that grid of perception and external stability that the EP types tend to lack. Such an attitude stands in sharp contrast to the Introverted perception, which is very much guided by the internal agenda of how the information is to be collected. The term agenda appears to be highly misleading as all perception is
unconscious and therefore cannot subscribe to anything we colloquially refer to as a plan of action. In this sense I do not intend to use the word agenda, yet I am merely using the term to depict the essence of reference. Therefore, the Introverted perception stands in closest affinity with his unconscious tendencies and this is the salient element to be taken note of in regards to this type’s inception of information. For this reason the Introverted Intuitor will first be drawn to information that his unconscious mind gravitates towards most, then slowly work his way out to the rest. As a dominant perceiver, the Introverted Intuitor wishes to collect all information, yet his sense of priority induces him towards information he tends to be in closest affinity with. Yet, such a thing is unknown to the Extroverted Perceiver, as his inner unconscious ‘agenda’ is much less firmly founded. It has its seat in the guise of inferior Introverted Sensing. Thus, the Extroverted perception leaps at all information simultaneously, head over heels. This can induce the EP to be dearth of a sense of priority as all external entities that seem appealing (usually those that are novel), will be subject to exploration. In an intense mode, such a drive is highly likely to overshadow Introverted perception and the Extroverted perceiver will likely over-stimulate himself. As Jung shall remind us, Introversion is the attitude that defines the world in relation to our inner being, yet Extroversion is the attitude that defines our being in relation to the world. Thus, introversion employs the internal standard to assess the outer world, and introversion employs the standard of the world to assess our being. In this case we are examining the phenomenon of Perception. Perception is the faculty that we examine our environment with. Thus, Introverted perceivers tend to define their outer environment in accordance to their perceptions. They tend to have difficulty adapting to the outer world, so therefore they do not wish for it to change to a significant extent. For this reason the IJ types tend to be most averse to change. Thus, they tend to be most security conscious as they doubt their ability to maintain their own soundness whilst improvising. Yet Extroverted Perceivers are close to the opposite in this respect. Being supreme improvisers, they tend to have little concern for security. ENPs tend to be more adaptable than ESPs because they depend less on the immediate physical entities that environ them. Yet the ENFP is impeded in this regard to a slightly higher degree than the ENTP, and it would be misleading to regard this type as a quintessential improviser. The nature of Thinking tends to be negative and self-sabboutaging for the ENFP, which undermines their external confidence and fluidity represented by Extroverted perception. Incidentally this leads the ENFP to have a rather fearful view of the world which may lead to many inhibitions that are nearly unheard of for ETP types. This is most distinctly represented in the guise of the ENFP’s shadow or inferior function, introverted sensing, but without a doubt the dearth of Thinking much contributes to this problem.
The abstract nature of the ENFP attests to them being more adaptable than their sensing counterparts as their mind does not depend on the immediate physical environment to function. As we recall, Extroverted perception does not have a focus of inception and therefore is forced to be swamped at all information at once, the all or nothing mentality results as a common factor for dominant Extroverted Intuitors. They prefer to devote all of their being to the current task, and this is never a conscious choice, but this happens as a necessary entailment of their interaction with the outer world. It is their unconscious perception that foments them to interact with the world in such a fashion, not the conscious secondary Introverted Judgment. When Extroverted Intuition becomes preponderous over introverted judgment, the ENTP will face similar maladies unhealthy ESPs tend to be afflicted with—recklessness. As Jung comments
“Naturally this attitude holds great dangers, for all too easily the intuitive may fritter away his life on things and people, spreading about him an abundance of which others live and not he himself. If only he could stay put, he would reap the fruits of his labours; but always he must be running after a new possibility, quitting his newly planted fields while others gather in the harvest. In the end he goes away empty.”
The ENFP is even in more danger of this than his Extroverted Intuitive counterpart the ENTP. When Introverted Feeling is not properly developed and controlled by this type, it can become consumed in inner passions to the point impetuosity. Rash and impulsive decisions may be inevitable in such a case. Clearly, this destructive tendencies is exacerbated for this specie of Extroverted perceiving types due to the lack of tough-mindedness. This problem is only to be rectified through cultivation of tertiary Extroverted Thinking which appears to be painfully wanting in the arsenal of unhealthy ENFPs. Thus, here we notice the lack of focus problem that we attribute to Extroverted perception and as well as the quest for novelty. The EP, unlike the IJ, must always be adapting to the new environment, therefore he easily becomes restless after novelty has worn off. In addition to accessing a myriad of new external phenomena the ENP, as endowed with intuition, will be able to come to visualize how the external environment will progress from the position it is stationed in. Thus, for this reason, the ENP is often easily able to see how the current environment could be as opposed to how it is. ENPs therefore have a natural penchant for entertaining the same notion from different perspectives.
As before established by Jung, the Extroverted Intuitive type, due to the extroversion factor, depends on his immediate environment. This is where he stands in sharp contrast with the Introverted Intuiting type who may easily concoct a world of his own. An example of this type would be Nietzsche, whose vision was primarily focused on the individual and what he must do in order to accomplish his goals. An Introverted perceiver will first focus on what most piques his interest and then expand his vision further to the end of promoting the initially established agenda. Hence this is the subject oriented creation of vision. In this respect the INJ sees vertically, or in a linear fashion—beginning at one point and envisaging how the protagonist could progress towards his path. The ENP will need to have the notion of the current situation fixated, and then based on that will attempt to see what this particular entity could be like. Or what it would seem like from other perspectives. Such a type would see horizontally, or forego selecting a starting point, but leap at the scenario simultaneously. Thus, an Introverted visionary is most concerned with the path of the individual, yet the Extroverted visionary with the path of the entire scenario. A glaring example of this would be the visions of social critics like Voltaire and Bertrand Russell and renowned ENFP Leo Tolstoy. His vision in the War and Peace, Anna Karenina, and the Resurrection are most representative of visionaries belonging to this type. The whole board is kept in perspective with no particular focus on any aspect of the scenario, one may say the focus shifts quickly, yet this would not be accurate as its not clear if there is any kind of a focus there to start with. The ENFP attempts to see the entire field and for this reason may forego focusing on any particular aspect as to avoid getting caught up in ‘detail’, which is anathema to abstract Extroverted perception. This furthermore illustrates the lack of agenda in Extroverted Perception. The Dominant Extroverted perception of ENPs, much like for their SP counterparts leads them to have light-hearted attitude towards the external environment. That, to a significant extent is the fact that they apply a perceiving function to the outer environment, and hence are not forced to make assessments of their situation. Moreover, their inner being, unlike for the Introverted perceivers, does not identify with the environment, but with their judgment. For this reason the ENFP is placed in an idiosyncratic position where their primary mode of functioning consists in collection of information, yet unlike the Introverted Perceivers they may be easily overwhelmed by the collected information. It should be clearly established that the core of this type consists not in External perception, but in Introverted Judgment. This is where the ENFP shall derive the true sense of self. The External perception are but vapor, no more than fleeting hunches that this type comes across. In a typical EP fashion, the External environment is not taken to be an end in itself, thus as opposed to the stern and serious approach to life usually taken by the IJ types, the EP types tend to be humorous and the ENFP’s affinity with feeling furthermore contributes to their merits as comedians. They are natural entertainers due to their ability to improvise and affinity with the emotional ambience encircling them. The ability to view the big picture with no preconceived notions or judgments as well as affinity with the human element makes the ENFPs excel at mediation.
Effortlessly they are able to understand the interpersonal perspective of all involved and with proper use of Introverted Feeling should be able to concoct the most humane solution possible both to the individuals involved and groups they are affiliated. The dominance of Extroverted Intuition makes ENFPs excel at enterprises requiring imagination. Should they develop the ability to focus and perseverance by cultivating their Introverting Feeling and further augmenting those qualities by the tough-minded approach of Extroverted Thinking, the ENFPs will excel as novelists, short-story writers and poets. In their presentation they are especially gifted at hitting just the right ambience to make their message seem favorable (Inner feeling) and intuitive to all (ostensible intuitions projected by Extroverted Intuition), the aforementioned light-hearted approach to the environment will also have a humorous spin to their presentation. ENFPs, just like their dominant Introverted Intuitive counterparts also enjoy pushing their imagination to extremes, yet by virtue of the talents listed above, they are able to proceed with their ideas without having lost their audience. The more the Introverted Intuitive types delves into his imagination, the more likely he is to loose his audience as he simply gets carried away by his inner life which divorces him from the External world. Quite the opposite is the case for the ENFP, the more the external world is engaged, the more intuitively the ENFP will behave. Thus, the more imaginative this type becomes the easier it will be to make his ideas presentable to the audience, especially if the audience is comprised of Intuitive types.
Because the ENFP is in such close affinity with the perceptions and feelings of others as well as the general ambience, he can make his message presentable to even the dullest of observers. Interestingly, this type does not at all suffer from the typical malady of an Intuitive, or an inability to communicate. The above seem to be sound reasons to propose that the ENFPs tend to have the best communication skills of all types. For this reason they often make excellent educational writers, entertainers and teachers of spirituality as they are able to connect and reach out to individuals of almost all kinds, as well as make even the most abstruse ideas accessible to even the starkest of philistines. Also very atypically to an Intuitive type, standing in sharp contrast especially to the INTs, ENFPs tend to be very patient with those who misunderstand their teaching, willing to explain themselves more than twice due to their comfort and confidence with their communication skills and deep sympathy for the individual, especially one seeking an intuitive dream (Ne), or a higher purpose (Fi). Sogyal Rinpoche is another representative of this phenomenon.
II. Ne-Fi interplay The stronger his intuition, the more his ego becomes fused with all the possibilities he envisions. He brings his vision to life, he presents it convincingly and with dramatic fire, he embodies it, so to speak. But this is not play-acting, it is a kind of fate.”
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Introverted Feeling is the rational function and the kernel of the ENFP’s inner being. As an introverted judging faculty, it is primarily responsible for establishing personal values by which the ENFP will assess themselves and their external environment. However, as an Extroverted type, strangely enough the ENFP tends to rely on external cues for self-assessment. Thus, even if the Introverted Feeling is sufficiently developed, the ENFP could not and would not want to wholly divorce the External standard. As an Extroverted perceiver, the ENFP is more concerned with the general ambience of the environment rather than private perceptions. In this respect the ENFP is very different from the INFP who is primarily concerned with making private assessments of what has been observed, the ENFP often goes without judgment altogether, merely takes in the external environment, at times even becomes absorbed in it. On that account the ENFP makes a perfect mimic, effortlessly and spontaneously he captures the souls of those around them and can easily represent the observed person by virtue of mere hunches he shall project onto the external environment. Because the ENFP is this intensely attuned with the external ambience and the emotional climate of the environment, he likely would excel at journalism, as this type is overrepresented in that enterprise. Unlike the Introverted perceiver the ENFP does not filter what has been incepted through the inner agenda, but can merely recollect the external image in its pure essence, even pantomime if necessary. As we have observed in the INTJ profile, the perceptions of an introverted perceiver are thoroughly imbued in unconscious predilections of the subject and for this reason end up being inaccurately collected. Yet this is not a problem at all for the ENFP for the aforementioned reason.
In order for the ENFP’s vision to be fulfilled, he needs to arrive at a situation where he picks up the hunch that his vision has been realized. Unlike the IN types, he would not be satisfied with merely knowing that he knows how to be successful or captures an internal feeling of fulfillment, he needs for his vision to become a reality. As aforementioned, because of the ENFP’s lack of focus on external perception he is compelled to draw all of his energy into the external endeavor. As Jung commented, for this reason the ENFP tends to embody his vision. He becomes one with the essence he is currently preoccupied with. We have here a radically paradoxical notion.
The generally unfocused ENFP here focuses on his vision with blazing intensity the point of becoming one with it. Essentially, unlike the judging dominant types, the ENFP does not need to focus on any one particular thing, but rather on the general scope of his environment. Thus the ENFP can easily be preoccupied with his pursuit of the entire vision whilst shifting from activity to activity whilst undertaking his project. Extroverted Intuition is often malleable and can easily be influenced by the external environment, as we mentioned it lacks the grid of judgment. The ENFP can very easily be focused on one particular task at one point and by way of external circumstances be blown away to be focused with the same intensity on something radically different. This problem can be rectified only through cultivation of Introverted Feeling, which is the backbone to his psyche. At this point the ENFP will have a clear, internal focus on his activities and will not rely on external perceptions for guidance. Because the ENFP requires changes in his environment, as an Extroverted perceiver and depends on the outward scenario due to the factor of Extroversion, he depends almost wholly on outward stimulation for his energy. Thus when the external environment is satisfactory, the energy level will likely be high where he will devote most of it to the current endeavor he is pursuing. This is even more pertinent for the ENFP than the ENTP as the former is much more influenced by the human element and the emotional ambience of the environment. A toxic environment tends to be poisonous for this type as Feeling is at the core of the ENFP.
An unbalanced ENFP is unlikely to have a firm inner being and his self-image, as well as self-esteem will be greatly contingent upon the high and lows of the swings of his intuitive energy. And of course, to even a greater extent the intuitive ambience he shall entertain as reception from the audience. Such ENFPs will greatly depend on admiration of others for their own sense of self-confidence. As the soundness of their inner feelings and values will be almost entirely contingent upon their public reception. Because such ENFPs will depend on the approval of others to such a tremendous extent they will prostrate their values to appease their audience in order to recollect the proper hunch of harmony and appreciation by others. They will tend to measure their success by how well they are liked. They will need consistent external gratification in order to be hold their own soundly. This lack of judgment leads to a grotesque inconsistency in the behavior of this type which often undermines the self-confidence and integrity of the ENFP. Being reliant on the approbation of others, the ENFP will do all that is possible to win their approval, yet even this would be difficult because the lack of judgment in this type will make it hard for the ENFP to behave consistently. The intense external focus (due to lack of involvement of introverted feeling) will make it difficult for the ENFP to reflect on his own behavior and therefore this type likely will be unaware of inconsistencies in his own behavior that are obvious to others. As Introverted Feelers, ENFPs tend to put a high premium on integrity, yet they also would go by external reception to assess their performance. Therefore the ENFP likely will be deeply hurt by others seeing them as insincere and unreliable for the reasons mentioned above. The only sound way to overcome this problem would be to cultivate Introverted Feeling first and foremost, so at that point the ENFP will rely on his own private judgments to assess his character and not on amorphous perceptions and receptions of the audience. Secondly the ENFP will need to cultivate Extroverted Thinking in order to support their value judgments and acquire the tough-minded fortitude to stand by their values in face of external adversity. The ENFP tends to be extremely sensitive to criticism in great part for different reasons than the quintessential feeling types. A great part of this is the Extroverted perception which leads to excessive reliance on feedback.
“The intuitive’s morality is governed neither by thinking nor by feeling; he has his own characteristic morality, which consists in loyalty to his vision and involuntary submission to authority. Consideration for others is weak. Their psychic well-being counts as little with him as does his own. He has equally little regard for their convictions and way of life, and on this accounts he is often put down as an immoral and unscrupulous adventurer.”
This, almost certainly, is a result of the Introverted Feeling, or the judging essence, ethics building faculty being enslaved by the Extroverted Intuition. Such an ENFP sees a good thing as simply whatever is in accord with his vision. Whatever is not, shall be deemed bad. Here he simply sees no distinction between desirable and desired by me. As mentioned in the INFP profile, the nature of Introverted Judgment without a purpose will be radically ego-centric, though the introverted judger who has found a higher purpose will likely avoid self-apotheosis. The latter is the danger that the ENP is particularly susceptible. As the Introverted Judgment is unlikely to function soundly if the ENfP is off-balance. Such individuals will likely use their keen awareness of the external environment to simply ‘pick the berries’ whilst having little concern for the interest of others and even less the amelioration of the community. Such ENFPs will utilize their networking skills to win the approbation of the multitude and appease the interests promoted by their Extroverted Intuition. This once more, is an inevitable consequence of introverted judgment turned corrupt. Manipulating the external situation will be central to his interests. Extroverted Perception will give him a clear view of the ‘entire board’, and Introverted Feeling will allow for the ENFP to make sound interpersonal decisions to do all that is necessary to appease the whims of his egocentric will. Such ENFPs function in this fashion because they lack a higher purpose, or they do not wish to pursue any inner virtue that transcends what befits their external environment. Accordingly they will have little interest in being as sensitive as possible for instance. They will only want to be sensitive enough to get what they are looking for in terms of external rewards.
“Since his intuition is concerned with externals and with feretting out their possibilities, he readily turns to professions in which he can exploit these capacities to the full. Many business tycoons, entrepreneurs, speculators, stockbrokers, politicians, etc., belong to this type.”
As aforementioned the ENFP is often able to put on exactly the kind of an image he needs to put on for the sake of meeting a particular external end. The ENFP is even better at this than the ENFP because he is attuned with the likes and dislikes of the people around him and the general ambience they produce, almost impeccably he will be able to recollect just the right image he needs to throw in their faces to pay the proper lip service.
“Endless clandestine rivalries spring up, and in these embittered struggles she will shrink from no baseness or meanness, and will even prostitute her virtues in order to play the trump card.”
Thus, the ENFP without sound values will merely prostitute oneself for the whims and fancies of his/her spectators. Yet one with sound inner values will teach by example. Much like the INFP, the ENFP will not need to preach or lecture to influence the external environment, he will simply wish to live out his values, as famously demonstrated by Leo Tolstoy. There can be no doubt that ENFPs, as feelers and Extroverted perceivers have an intense need to influence the environment (as mentioned in the earlier allusion to them being over-represented in journalism), yet they shall not aspire to do this in the conventional Extroverted Judging way by imposing their principles on others. Such ENFPs will truly walk the talk and stand by their commitments and values, and will rarely attempt to act merely for effect. They will not be letting down those who have been taken aback by their sincerity and depth of Feeling, as their behavior will be consistent and well thought out. The quest and morality of this type will be intensely focused on the individual, as denoted by the factor of Introverted Feeling. Despite the all embracing vision represented by the Extroverted Intuition of this type, the aim of the ENFP is often elitist due to the Introversion of judgment. This is where the Extroverted Visionary differs from the Introverted. The introversion visionary (Ni), will want for all to accept and understand their vision (Extroverted Judgment shall impose on all), yet would lack the expository skills to make their ideas accessible. Yet the Extroverted Visionary aims only at the select few (Introverted Judgment), yet is able to make his ideas accessible to all. Introverted Vision is concerned primarily with the search of inner life and the outer world, the INJ will wish for all to pursue this quest. Yet the ENFP is primarily concerned with this world, much like Tolstoy and Sogyal Rinpoche, yet admittedly or not, the ENFP will only wish for the selected few to undertake the venture. This also accurately represents the social aspect of this type, as the ENFP prefers to show his true colors only to the select few who have connected with their inner values. This attests to the phenomenon of elitism in this type which is often concealed by the all embracing, everywhere and nowhere approach to life of Extroverted Intuition which is at the helm of the psyche of the ENFP.
III. Ne-Te axis
As earlier mentioned, unhealthy ENFPs are often criticized by their observers as fickle and unreliable as is often a common defect of a perceiving type. This, first and foremost is to be rectified by cultivation of Introverted Feeling which will lead this type to be true to oneself. However, the tough-minded approach to life which Extroverted Thinking offers to the ENFP is of indispensable utility. First and foremost it will provide the aforementioned grid of perception which will help the ENFP properly organize and assess the collected information. Secondly personal values will be supported with sound reasoning and the ENFP will be able to critically examine ideals to be incorporated into their value system. With acquisition of Extroverted Thinking, they will rely on the public approval even less, as at this point they will be able to see if what they have done has merit on its own right, with or without the approval of those around them. Cultivation of this function will endow the ENFP with a higher accuracy in thought and ability to retain composure. In the event of such an ENFP’s integrity being impugned, the ENFP will be less likely to be personally afflicted, but instead will examine what has happened with a sober eye. Instead of lashing out at others with most vicious personal retorts he can think of, the ENFP will manage to preclude his emotions from spiraling out of control and by virtue of this composure will remain loyal to his values. In this respect, clearly sound use of the Thinking faculty will support the Feeling oriented approach to life of this type. This will also help the ENFP conquer the self-sabboutaging tendencies typically associated with poor use of the Thinking faculty, as this type will then be able to cut back on the self-critical and denigrating thoughts. The Extroverted Thinking of such ENFPs will not function in the crude and primitive ways of simply and thoughtlessly following an impersonal agenda and proclaiming judgments of the book, but such ENFPs will be able to do sound impersonal analysis. Akin to that found in the psyche of NTJs. Another gift that this type shall be endowed with is managerial skills and ability to accomplish impersonal tasks in a timely and appropriate fashion to the external circumstances. The rational and tought-minded approach provided by Extroverted Thinking will also enable the ENFP to rely much less on the highs and lows of their Intuitive energy, as this faculty will lay down the plan for the ENFP to follow on step by step basis. ENFPs are mercurial by nature and rarely are moderate in their energy and passions, yet sound use of Extroverted Thinking will doubtlessly be a tremendous step forward to mitigate the issue.
IV. Inferior Sensing
This function is anathema to the primary faculty of Extroverted Intuition. The ENFP rarely focuses on security concerns, or information that is relevant to him directly. Yet, the shadow side often manifests itself in terms of the ENFP inaccurately representing factual information and what requires concrete observation. When Introverted Sensing escapes the grasp of the ENFP’s conscious control, it will flood in a form of sensual and memory-oriented impulses. The insights he spews will be closely linked to his memories and deeply cherished beliefs. Since the Introverted Sensing is a servile lackey of the Extroverted Intuition in such a situation, memories will often be distorted to better fit the image the Extroverted Intuition wishes to see. Such an ENFP will likely also be permeated by an intense longing for security which stands in sharp contrast with his adventurous approach to life.
Misunderstandings:
1) Weirdness. NeFi tends to give ENFPs a weird, zany kind of aura, making them come off as erratic, random, flaky, illogical and sometimes socially retarded, despite being so annoyingly likable. ENFPs tend to run circles around people and need to play with thoughts and ideas a bit before settling on a conclusion, to make sure they've seen it from all angles and to make sure it actually fits accurately into their inner world (or if their inner world needs adjusting). This playfulness can also be displayed just for fun, making it sometimes hard to see where the ENFP is going with a certain train of thought (if they're going somewhere at all with it). Rest assured though, there's always a motivation, drive and reason for it.
2)Heart on the sleeve. ENFPs connect through Fi and Fi usually doesn't waste time getting to know someone. It jumps to the intimate part of the conversation as that is who the person *really* is..which is what is relevant to Fi. And that tends to either go over extremely well, to the point where people just end up telling them their life stories and childhood trauma's or...really badly, as people just consider it rude, inappropriate and impolite, not to mention wayyy too intense
3) Flirting. Due to the ENFP tendency to jump right to the intimate part of the relationship (the need to get to know people for who they are) and them not receiving or losing the copy of the social guidelines manual, ENFPs are often perceived to be big flirts when they're actually just genuinly intrigued by people. (to avoid future derail on this, I'll admit that I too was like this but I have become a conscious flirt over time!)
4) Crude and insensitive. Their Ne can sometimes get ahead of them, causing them to toss out blunt things before socially filtering them and framing them better. This especially happens when they're overly excited about some new piece of information.
5) Attention whoring. Most ENFPs have no clue what they did wrong when they get accused of this and experience it as oppression of their right to express who they are. Once again, it's usually a clash of group values versus the need for authenticity, and a poor grasp of the social rules that is at the base of this. As they tend to experience things very profoundly, and they wear their hearts on their sleeves, the expression of these things can be perceived as an act of attention whoring, though most ENFPs don't have a clue how to play social games (once again, somehow we didn't get the manual
), though this may vary depending on the ENFP's surroundings while growing up.
6) Making excuses and refusing to appologize. An ENFP will typically try to explain to the other person why they did something, not as a way to weasel out of the responsibility, but to increase understanding and harmony. Similarly, they will often not be aware of the fact that their transgression is once again in that social manual that everyone seems to know, and therefore not see it fit to actually appologize for something that to them was not intended in harm and in their eyes also didn't really harm anyone.
7) Leading people on. As ENFPs tend to share intimate details easily with others, and often have others reciprocate, a misunderstanding can arise between the two people in that relationship as to the status of the other person. ENFPs tend to love easily and like spreading that love, making people feel loved and being loved in return. It creates a special harmony, a being in sync that's very pleasurable, as well as a bond which makes everyone feel safe. However, as time is limited and there are many people to get to know and love, it can put pressure on the already existing relationships. Also, Fi doesn't require frequent contact to keep this bond alive. This often leaves the other partner feeling hurt and rejected, while the ENFP's affection really hasn't waned at all. Similarly, it can give the illusion of a stronger bond than was intended by the ENFP:
8) Not being thoughtful, reliable or considered loyal. It hurts an ENFP more than anything to hear that. The thing is, since we're stuck with our heads up in the clouds and, we value our own private time, we're a tad oblivious and we don't wanna be intrusive. That can feel like we don't care. Nothing could be further from the truth though. Ask. You'll find that an ENFP is rarely too busy not to help you, but you do have to ask. As we tend to be very easy-going and change our plans on the go, it's rarely an inconvenience to help out a friend in need. It is only if I see someone is truly overwhelmed with emotion that I'll prod them myself, to see if I can help.
9) Always talking about ME. ENFPs tend to speak in the 'I'-person, because they experience everything in such an individualistic way. Add to that that we know most people find us weird and we don't wanna speak for others who might experience things different as we're often told that we're the outsiders anyways. On top of that there's a serious need to be understood as the desire to connect is there but clearly it's hard as we're weird
This tends to grate people to no end, despite the good intentions of
the ENFP as it seems to be all about 'him'. Also, we work with analogies
a lot, which is our way of relating. When someone tells us something,
the way to let them know that we understand what they're saying is by
equally sharing a similar story. Quid pro quo basically. You tell me
something about yourself and I'll sync up with you by sharing something
similar about myself. This is the way to get to know each other.
Unfortunately, we can get wrapped up in that process, and get
overenthused in sharing...
10) Appearing shallow - Because ENFPs use Ne to take information, we tend to jet from topic to topic. As Perceiving types, we are also apt to associate with other points of view easily, and are always after more information. Add Fi to the mix, and it results in us being interested in, and caring about, pretty much anything that comes to mind. However, to those who don't know us as well, this can easily come off as superficiality, fake engagement, and wishy-washiness - in short, being shallow. We also love to be silly and sarcastic, and we tend to keep an overall light tone. This does not mean that we don't think about or understand pain, destruction, cruelty, and other darker or more serious things in life. Most of us do, far more often than we let on. However, we don't generally see it conflicting with our ability to have a good time: to us, it's all a part of the grand song and dance of life. Just like being considered uncaring or disloyal, shallow is one of the last things we would ever like to be called, and we don't mean to come off that way. Our interest is real, as is our care. If you need us to be more serious, just let us know.
Tendencies:
1) Chaos, chaos, chaos. My god, do we live in a world of chaos. Plz don't ask me where my phone is, or my keys, though I will find things that I don't use that often easily in my mess. And there's no way I have the attention span to actually make a system and stick to it
2) Flakiness. Wherever the mood takes me, is where I go, making it hard to plan *anything* or not feel forced when I do agree to something when later I don't feel like it anymore
3) Indecisiveness/procrastination Too many damned options and all of the appealing, or worse..all of them not good enough! What's an ENFP to do except for wait, procrastinate and hope it another option presents itself!
4) Self-absorbed. Living with my head in the clouds, I don't always see what's going on around me, sorry, and I so don't know how to turn that off! Plz, if you need my help, I'll gladly give it to you, just tap me on the shoulder to get me back to reality though
5) Drama Queen. Fi can feel sooooo f*cking intense, it burns. The pain can be overwhelming. Unloading on others however...not very nice, however hard it can be to contain yourself. Learning social rules and having a close friend who understands you is a definite must.
6) Maintaining a network. My god, do I suck at that and does it drain me. But it is vital, if you care for your friends. I do my best to be there for my friends, but I warn them all in advance that if I ignore them, it's not on purpose and they just have to whack me harder over the head, coz I can be sometimes very hard to reach due to my obsession with new shiny and self-reflecting.
7) No follow-through whatsoever. This is suchhhh a pain. There's so much to do an d so little time to do it in that often, when we start a project and see where it should end up, but obstacles get in the way, we get impatient. And the next little bit of shiny is already tempting us. Since we're bogged down in the process and we've seen in our mind how it will likely end, it's just more alluring to figure out the next bit of shiny instead of waiting for things to come together
8) And then..when we do get into that 'Must follow through!'-phase..get out of our way. Yeah, I truly hate that one as well. It's the whole, 'This shit needs to be done and otherwise I'm just sitting around wasting my time so get the f*ck out of my way, now!' thing. Te. Since we're not exactly that good at it and cannot swing it around for that long (it's frigging tiresome!), most of us tend to have the finesse of a frigging bulldozer when wielding that thing. It just makes people run for cover. The second I invoke that, I'm beyond patience, and things better start happening, even if I have to ram things through people's throats, or start hitting a machine hard. It better be working, dammit! And the second there's the smallest hitch, the thing/person responsible is in serious trouble. This results in my tossing my phone somewhere hard, and freaking people out by the authoritive tone in my otherwise so chipper or calm voice. I've been told my eyes shoot thunderbolts and could kill a man the second I get that way. The reason for this is, I'm in a situation I don't wanna be in, I cannot avoid (see next point!) and I wanna get out, NOW! You're a moron if you stand in my way, seriously. End of discussion.
9) Avoidance. Man, I love that strategy. If I can avoid problemsolving, especially if it's somethign that requires a lot of work, energy or thinking things through, I will. If I can wing it, I'll take that over planning it out and going through it, as it's such an energy saver. Gets me in all kinds of trouble when I overestimate my capacity to wing it though (I'm slowly getting better at planning only a little while mixing it with winging it though )
10) Oversensitivity. Because an ENFP struggles to tame the Fi-beast, and the pain can be intense, it is very easy to cause emotional turmoil in an ENFP, especially when addressing the part of them that they're either very proud of in a negative way, or the parts that they're very insecure about. The reason for this is that the ENFP is already aware of this, or doesn't feel accepted, and it's like rubbing salt into a wound or denying them the right to be themselves. An ENFP is also unlikely to go push other peoples buttons like that, unless they're for some reason oblivious to them (Ne-hyperdrive) or angry with that person for some reason (Te-hammer, lethal at that point!), and will most of the time feel really guilty about doing so later and likely appologize for it. For that reason, they can very much overreact when someone does point out their flaws or talk about their person (or what they perceive to be a personal attack in any case), as they themselves would never cause anyone willingly that kind of harm. Little do/did they know that others don't have that same experience and therefore do not respond in the same way. Often, I would envy those that were able to take criticism so well, but for the life of me did not understand how they remained so calm under it all, or didn't consider it rude.
My own specific issues:
1) I really really hate what I perceive to be emotional guilttripping ( I grew up in a house of Fe-people, not all equally healthy). It makes me rebel beyond all reason. If you ask me to do something for you genuinly, I'll jump through every hoop to make it so, if I know it to be important to you. Whine that I haven't done it yet, while you didn't even ask, and I'll bend over backwards and cut my own throat before I give you what you want. I *am* working on this
2) I hate bureaucracy and housework with a vengeance. It is mindboggling boring, always comes back, you're never done with it and it doesn't gain me any satisfaction at all, not to mention it feels like something you get forced into again (see 1)). These days, I've found that if I need to mull things over, I just get started on a simple task that needs doing as well, that way I don't feel pressured for that task and I can put my mind to work on something else.
4) I love freedom but leadership can be draining on me. I rather be the 'right hand', as constantly having to think ahead, plan and direct people can be quite daunting.
“Whenever Intuition predominates, a peculiar and unmistakable psychology results. Because extraverted intuition is oriented by the object, there is a marked dependence on external situations, but it is altogether different from the dependence of the sensation type. The intuitive is never to be found in the world of accepted reality-values, but he has a keen nose for anything new and in the making.”
Intuition, in the Jungian sense of the term is an irrational function, or unconscious. Its primary focus is on collection of information. Intuition by the nature of itself is abstract and therefore closer in tune with the realm of imagination than with the realm of the senses. Leanor Thomson has pointed out that Perceivers tend to be right-brained in a conventional sense of the notion and judgers left-brained. Or perhaps to perception in general. That notion seems amorphous, as we could well argue that INJs are more right-brained than many perceiving types because their inner life seems to embody almost all of the qualities we associate with right-brained characteristics. Namely those most closely associated with fluidity and creativity. The mind of an introverted Intuitionist is indeed unbounded by conscious judgments the minds of Types with a dominant judging function tend to be. However, one important phenomenon that we should take note of is that all of our intuitive perceptions were first inspired by external phenomena. Therefore Briggs’ approach to the Judging/Perceiving dichotomy has much merit in this respect. Namely that she regards Judging types as those approaching the external world with a judging function and intuitive types approaching the external world with an intuitive function. As we look further into the matter, we notice that Extroverted Judging types tend to have the easiest time perceiving the world in terms of concrete, conventionally established symbols. For this reason their approach to the outer world tends to be highly structured. Yet the approach of Extroverted perceivers, conversely, radically unstructured. Thus, Extroverted Perception is the radically right-brained faculty in the sense that Leanor Thomson has used the term, and Extroverted Judgment the radical left-brained faculty. On that account we may claim that the ENFP is one of the most right-brained oriented types. This is most distinctly represented by the marked preference for imagination over Sensation and Feeling over Thinking. The ENFP is more feeling oriented than its intuitive counterpart INFJ, as Introverted functions tend to be more loyal to their element than Extroverted, hence Introverted Feeling, augmented by Intuition makes the ENFP more dedicated to Feeling than the INFJ.
Through the aforementioned filters the outer world is incepted for us. Thus, an Extroverted Perceiver tends to be flexible in his perceptions, yet the Extroverted Judger tends to incept the environment in terms of the pre-existing concrete symbols. As we notice that the Extroverted Judgers tend to rely much more on the pre-established terms for their understanding of ideas. As for instance, it is very common for a Judger to say that they could not imagine the concept of yellow without the word yellow, yet very uncommon for a dominant Extroverted perceiver to make the same claim. For this reason, we shall argue that the Extroverted perceivers, with a slight exception in favor of Introverted Perceivers, tend to collect the soundest information. The Extroverted Perceiver is different from the Introverted Perceiver in the respect that he confronts the external environment directly, whilst the Introverted perceiver must first filter the environment through the apparatus of his own inner perceptions and then shift onto the Extroverted Judgment in order to make a decision. And only at that point he will be able to interact with the outer environment. Because of this, the Introverted perceivers tend to be the least spontaneous, as their access to the outer environment is contingent upon their inner perceptions which are remote from the immediate environment. Yet, the Extroverted perceivers, by contrast, which could be rightly deemed as an animus to the Introverted Perceivers tend to be the most spontaneous. As aforementioned, the reason for this is that they do not require contemplation for direct action, as their perceptions are always in tune with the outer world. In this regard they are even more action oriented than the dominant Extroverted Judging types, who require a plan of action, or external decisions in order to turn their wheels. ENFP identifies with the spontaneous camp even more so than the ENTP, as the judgment of this type tends to be less pronounced as Feeling tends to be less tough-minded and less stifling on raw External perceptions. This makes the ENFP especially adept at the art of improvisation, most clearly the case when it comes to dealing with people and the human element, yet could also lead to impulsiveness and poor decision making as a result of marked preference for perception over judgment. The Extroverted Perceiver deals with the outer world unconsciously, as the perceiving functions are by definition unconscious. Thus, here again we notice that the EP type requires least contemplation to prepare for action of all 4. This leads to the sense of quickness the EP types tend to be renowned for. We should note that Extroverted perception can very easily be misunderstood for hyperactivity and inherent inability to focus because information tends to be incepted into the mind of an EP in a torrential fashion. As there is no grid of extroverted judgment in the outer world of the EP.
Thus the information is filtered only by the auxiliary Introverted Judgment which tends to be subordinate to the Extroverted Perception. Therefore there is little hindrance to the way the information is being perceived. Another reason the EP tends to be ‘all over the place’ is the fact that they do not have an internal agenda to how information is to be collected. This, for the ENFP is slightly compensated by the presence of tertiary Extroverted Thinking which provides that grid of perception and external stability that the EP types tend to lack. Such an attitude stands in sharp contrast to the Introverted perception, which is very much guided by the internal agenda of how the information is to be collected. The term agenda appears to be highly misleading as all perception is
unconscious and therefore cannot subscribe to anything we colloquially refer to as a plan of action. In this sense I do not intend to use the word agenda, yet I am merely using the term to depict the essence of reference. Therefore, the Introverted perception stands in closest affinity with his unconscious tendencies and this is the salient element to be taken note of in regards to this type’s inception of information. For this reason the Introverted Intuitor will first be drawn to information that his unconscious mind gravitates towards most, then slowly work his way out to the rest. As a dominant perceiver, the Introverted Intuitor wishes to collect all information, yet his sense of priority induces him towards information he tends to be in closest affinity with. Yet, such a thing is unknown to the Extroverted Perceiver, as his inner unconscious ‘agenda’ is much less firmly founded. It has its seat in the guise of inferior Introverted Sensing. Thus, the Extroverted perception leaps at all information simultaneously, head over heels. This can induce the EP to be dearth of a sense of priority as all external entities that seem appealing (usually those that are novel), will be subject to exploration. In an intense mode, such a drive is highly likely to overshadow Introverted perception and the Extroverted perceiver will likely over-stimulate himself. As Jung shall remind us, Introversion is the attitude that defines the world in relation to our inner being, yet Extroversion is the attitude that defines our being in relation to the world. Thus, introversion employs the internal standard to assess the outer world, and introversion employs the standard of the world to assess our being. In this case we are examining the phenomenon of Perception. Perception is the faculty that we examine our environment with. Thus, Introverted perceivers tend to define their outer environment in accordance to their perceptions. They tend to have difficulty adapting to the outer world, so therefore they do not wish for it to change to a significant extent. For this reason the IJ types tend to be most averse to change. Thus, they tend to be most security conscious as they doubt their ability to maintain their own soundness whilst improvising. Yet Extroverted Perceivers are close to the opposite in this respect. Being supreme improvisers, they tend to have little concern for security. ENPs tend to be more adaptable than ESPs because they depend less on the immediate physical entities that environ them. Yet the ENFP is impeded in this regard to a slightly higher degree than the ENTP, and it would be misleading to regard this type as a quintessential improviser. The nature of Thinking tends to be negative and self-sabboutaging for the ENFP, which undermines their external confidence and fluidity represented by Extroverted perception. Incidentally this leads the ENFP to have a rather fearful view of the world which may lead to many inhibitions that are nearly unheard of for ETP types. This is most distinctly represented in the guise of the ENFP’s shadow or inferior function, introverted sensing, but without a doubt the dearth of Thinking much contributes to this problem.
The abstract nature of the ENFP attests to them being more adaptable than their sensing counterparts as their mind does not depend on the immediate physical environment to function. As we recall, Extroverted perception does not have a focus of inception and therefore is forced to be swamped at all information at once, the all or nothing mentality results as a common factor for dominant Extroverted Intuitors. They prefer to devote all of their being to the current task, and this is never a conscious choice, but this happens as a necessary entailment of their interaction with the outer world. It is their unconscious perception that foments them to interact with the world in such a fashion, not the conscious secondary Introverted Judgment. When Extroverted Intuition becomes preponderous over introverted judgment, the ENTP will face similar maladies unhealthy ESPs tend to be afflicted with—recklessness. As Jung comments
“Naturally this attitude holds great dangers, for all too easily the intuitive may fritter away his life on things and people, spreading about him an abundance of which others live and not he himself. If only he could stay put, he would reap the fruits of his labours; but always he must be running after a new possibility, quitting his newly planted fields while others gather in the harvest. In the end he goes away empty.”
The ENFP is even in more danger of this than his Extroverted Intuitive counterpart the ENTP. When Introverted Feeling is not properly developed and controlled by this type, it can become consumed in inner passions to the point impetuosity. Rash and impulsive decisions may be inevitable in such a case. Clearly, this destructive tendencies is exacerbated for this specie of Extroverted perceiving types due to the lack of tough-mindedness. This problem is only to be rectified through cultivation of tertiary Extroverted Thinking which appears to be painfully wanting in the arsenal of unhealthy ENFPs. Thus, here we notice the lack of focus problem that we attribute to Extroverted perception and as well as the quest for novelty. The EP, unlike the IJ, must always be adapting to the new environment, therefore he easily becomes restless after novelty has worn off. In addition to accessing a myriad of new external phenomena the ENP, as endowed with intuition, will be able to come to visualize how the external environment will progress from the position it is stationed in. Thus, for this reason, the ENP is often easily able to see how the current environment could be as opposed to how it is. ENPs therefore have a natural penchant for entertaining the same notion from different perspectives.
As before established by Jung, the Extroverted Intuitive type, due to the extroversion factor, depends on his immediate environment. This is where he stands in sharp contrast with the Introverted Intuiting type who may easily concoct a world of his own. An example of this type would be Nietzsche, whose vision was primarily focused on the individual and what he must do in order to accomplish his goals. An Introverted perceiver will first focus on what most piques his interest and then expand his vision further to the end of promoting the initially established agenda. Hence this is the subject oriented creation of vision. In this respect the INJ sees vertically, or in a linear fashion—beginning at one point and envisaging how the protagonist could progress towards his path. The ENP will need to have the notion of the current situation fixated, and then based on that will attempt to see what this particular entity could be like. Or what it would seem like from other perspectives. Such a type would see horizontally, or forego selecting a starting point, but leap at the scenario simultaneously. Thus, an Introverted visionary is most concerned with the path of the individual, yet the Extroverted visionary with the path of the entire scenario. A glaring example of this would be the visions of social critics like Voltaire and Bertrand Russell and renowned ENFP Leo Tolstoy. His vision in the War and Peace, Anna Karenina, and the Resurrection are most representative of visionaries belonging to this type. The whole board is kept in perspective with no particular focus on any aspect of the scenario, one may say the focus shifts quickly, yet this would not be accurate as its not clear if there is any kind of a focus there to start with. The ENFP attempts to see the entire field and for this reason may forego focusing on any particular aspect as to avoid getting caught up in ‘detail’, which is anathema to abstract Extroverted perception. This furthermore illustrates the lack of agenda in Extroverted Perception. The Dominant Extroverted perception of ENPs, much like for their SP counterparts leads them to have light-hearted attitude towards the external environment. That, to a significant extent is the fact that they apply a perceiving function to the outer environment, and hence are not forced to make assessments of their situation. Moreover, their inner being, unlike for the Introverted perceivers, does not identify with the environment, but with their judgment. For this reason the ENFP is placed in an idiosyncratic position where their primary mode of functioning consists in collection of information, yet unlike the Introverted Perceivers they may be easily overwhelmed by the collected information. It should be clearly established that the core of this type consists not in External perception, but in Introverted Judgment. This is where the ENFP shall derive the true sense of self. The External perception are but vapor, no more than fleeting hunches that this type comes across. In a typical EP fashion, the External environment is not taken to be an end in itself, thus as opposed to the stern and serious approach to life usually taken by the IJ types, the EP types tend to be humorous and the ENFP’s affinity with feeling furthermore contributes to their merits as comedians. They are natural entertainers due to their ability to improvise and affinity with the emotional ambience encircling them. The ability to view the big picture with no preconceived notions or judgments as well as affinity with the human element makes the ENFPs excel at mediation.
Effortlessly they are able to understand the interpersonal perspective of all involved and with proper use of Introverted Feeling should be able to concoct the most humane solution possible both to the individuals involved and groups they are affiliated. The dominance of Extroverted Intuition makes ENFPs excel at enterprises requiring imagination. Should they develop the ability to focus and perseverance by cultivating their Introverting Feeling and further augmenting those qualities by the tough-minded approach of Extroverted Thinking, the ENFPs will excel as novelists, short-story writers and poets. In their presentation they are especially gifted at hitting just the right ambience to make their message seem favorable (Inner feeling) and intuitive to all (ostensible intuitions projected by Extroverted Intuition), the aforementioned light-hearted approach to the environment will also have a humorous spin to their presentation. ENFPs, just like their dominant Introverted Intuitive counterparts also enjoy pushing their imagination to extremes, yet by virtue of the talents listed above, they are able to proceed with their ideas without having lost their audience. The more the Introverted Intuitive types delves into his imagination, the more likely he is to loose his audience as he simply gets carried away by his inner life which divorces him from the External world. Quite the opposite is the case for the ENFP, the more the external world is engaged, the more intuitively the ENFP will behave. Thus, the more imaginative this type becomes the easier it will be to make his ideas presentable to the audience, especially if the audience is comprised of Intuitive types.
Because the ENFP is in such close affinity with the perceptions and feelings of others as well as the general ambience, he can make his message presentable to even the dullest of observers. Interestingly, this type does not at all suffer from the typical malady of an Intuitive, or an inability to communicate. The above seem to be sound reasons to propose that the ENFPs tend to have the best communication skills of all types. For this reason they often make excellent educational writers, entertainers and teachers of spirituality as they are able to connect and reach out to individuals of almost all kinds, as well as make even the most abstruse ideas accessible to even the starkest of philistines. Also very atypically to an Intuitive type, standing in sharp contrast especially to the INTs, ENFPs tend to be very patient with those who misunderstand their teaching, willing to explain themselves more than twice due to their comfort and confidence with their communication skills and deep sympathy for the individual, especially one seeking an intuitive dream (Ne), or a higher purpose (Fi). Sogyal Rinpoche is another representative of this phenomenon.
II. Ne-Fi interplay The stronger his intuition, the more his ego becomes fused with all the possibilities he envisions. He brings his vision to life, he presents it convincingly and with dramatic fire, he embodies it, so to speak. But this is not play-acting, it is a kind of fate.”
“
Introverted Feeling is the rational function and the kernel of the ENFP’s inner being. As an introverted judging faculty, it is primarily responsible for establishing personal values by which the ENFP will assess themselves and their external environment. However, as an Extroverted type, strangely enough the ENFP tends to rely on external cues for self-assessment. Thus, even if the Introverted Feeling is sufficiently developed, the ENFP could not and would not want to wholly divorce the External standard. As an Extroverted perceiver, the ENFP is more concerned with the general ambience of the environment rather than private perceptions. In this respect the ENFP is very different from the INFP who is primarily concerned with making private assessments of what has been observed, the ENFP often goes without judgment altogether, merely takes in the external environment, at times even becomes absorbed in it. On that account the ENFP makes a perfect mimic, effortlessly and spontaneously he captures the souls of those around them and can easily represent the observed person by virtue of mere hunches he shall project onto the external environment. Because the ENFP is this intensely attuned with the external ambience and the emotional climate of the environment, he likely would excel at journalism, as this type is overrepresented in that enterprise. Unlike the Introverted perceiver the ENFP does not filter what has been incepted through the inner agenda, but can merely recollect the external image in its pure essence, even pantomime if necessary. As we have observed in the INTJ profile, the perceptions of an introverted perceiver are thoroughly imbued in unconscious predilections of the subject and for this reason end up being inaccurately collected. Yet this is not a problem at all for the ENFP for the aforementioned reason.
In order for the ENFP’s vision to be fulfilled, he needs to arrive at a situation where he picks up the hunch that his vision has been realized. Unlike the IN types, he would not be satisfied with merely knowing that he knows how to be successful or captures an internal feeling of fulfillment, he needs for his vision to become a reality. As aforementioned, because of the ENFP’s lack of focus on external perception he is compelled to draw all of his energy into the external endeavor. As Jung commented, for this reason the ENFP tends to embody his vision. He becomes one with the essence he is currently preoccupied with. We have here a radically paradoxical notion.
The generally unfocused ENFP here focuses on his vision with blazing intensity the point of becoming one with it. Essentially, unlike the judging dominant types, the ENFP does not need to focus on any one particular thing, but rather on the general scope of his environment. Thus the ENFP can easily be preoccupied with his pursuit of the entire vision whilst shifting from activity to activity whilst undertaking his project. Extroverted Intuition is often malleable and can easily be influenced by the external environment, as we mentioned it lacks the grid of judgment. The ENFP can very easily be focused on one particular task at one point and by way of external circumstances be blown away to be focused with the same intensity on something radically different. This problem can be rectified only through cultivation of Introverted Feeling, which is the backbone to his psyche. At this point the ENFP will have a clear, internal focus on his activities and will not rely on external perceptions for guidance. Because the ENFP requires changes in his environment, as an Extroverted perceiver and depends on the outward scenario due to the factor of Extroversion, he depends almost wholly on outward stimulation for his energy. Thus when the external environment is satisfactory, the energy level will likely be high where he will devote most of it to the current endeavor he is pursuing. This is even more pertinent for the ENFP than the ENTP as the former is much more influenced by the human element and the emotional ambience of the environment. A toxic environment tends to be poisonous for this type as Feeling is at the core of the ENFP.
An unbalanced ENFP is unlikely to have a firm inner being and his self-image, as well as self-esteem will be greatly contingent upon the high and lows of the swings of his intuitive energy. And of course, to even a greater extent the intuitive ambience he shall entertain as reception from the audience. Such ENFPs will greatly depend on admiration of others for their own sense of self-confidence. As the soundness of their inner feelings and values will be almost entirely contingent upon their public reception. Because such ENFPs will depend on the approval of others to such a tremendous extent they will prostrate their values to appease their audience in order to recollect the proper hunch of harmony and appreciation by others. They will tend to measure their success by how well they are liked. They will need consistent external gratification in order to be hold their own soundly. This lack of judgment leads to a grotesque inconsistency in the behavior of this type which often undermines the self-confidence and integrity of the ENFP. Being reliant on the approbation of others, the ENFP will do all that is possible to win their approval, yet even this would be difficult because the lack of judgment in this type will make it hard for the ENFP to behave consistently. The intense external focus (due to lack of involvement of introverted feeling) will make it difficult for the ENFP to reflect on his own behavior and therefore this type likely will be unaware of inconsistencies in his own behavior that are obvious to others. As Introverted Feelers, ENFPs tend to put a high premium on integrity, yet they also would go by external reception to assess their performance. Therefore the ENFP likely will be deeply hurt by others seeing them as insincere and unreliable for the reasons mentioned above. The only sound way to overcome this problem would be to cultivate Introverted Feeling first and foremost, so at that point the ENFP will rely on his own private judgments to assess his character and not on amorphous perceptions and receptions of the audience. Secondly the ENFP will need to cultivate Extroverted Thinking in order to support their value judgments and acquire the tough-minded fortitude to stand by their values in face of external adversity. The ENFP tends to be extremely sensitive to criticism in great part for different reasons than the quintessential feeling types. A great part of this is the Extroverted perception which leads to excessive reliance on feedback.
“The intuitive’s morality is governed neither by thinking nor by feeling; he has his own characteristic morality, which consists in loyalty to his vision and involuntary submission to authority. Consideration for others is weak. Their psychic well-being counts as little with him as does his own. He has equally little regard for their convictions and way of life, and on this accounts he is often put down as an immoral and unscrupulous adventurer.”
This, almost certainly, is a result of the Introverted Feeling, or the judging essence, ethics building faculty being enslaved by the Extroverted Intuition. Such an ENFP sees a good thing as simply whatever is in accord with his vision. Whatever is not, shall be deemed bad. Here he simply sees no distinction between desirable and desired by me. As mentioned in the INFP profile, the nature of Introverted Judgment without a purpose will be radically ego-centric, though the introverted judger who has found a higher purpose will likely avoid self-apotheosis. The latter is the danger that the ENP is particularly susceptible. As the Introverted Judgment is unlikely to function soundly if the ENfP is off-balance. Such individuals will likely use their keen awareness of the external environment to simply ‘pick the berries’ whilst having little concern for the interest of others and even less the amelioration of the community. Such ENFPs will utilize their networking skills to win the approbation of the multitude and appease the interests promoted by their Extroverted Intuition. This once more, is an inevitable consequence of introverted judgment turned corrupt. Manipulating the external situation will be central to his interests. Extroverted Perception will give him a clear view of the ‘entire board’, and Introverted Feeling will allow for the ENFP to make sound interpersonal decisions to do all that is necessary to appease the whims of his egocentric will. Such ENFPs function in this fashion because they lack a higher purpose, or they do not wish to pursue any inner virtue that transcends what befits their external environment. Accordingly they will have little interest in being as sensitive as possible for instance. They will only want to be sensitive enough to get what they are looking for in terms of external rewards.
“Since his intuition is concerned with externals and with feretting out their possibilities, he readily turns to professions in which he can exploit these capacities to the full. Many business tycoons, entrepreneurs, speculators, stockbrokers, politicians, etc., belong to this type.”
As aforementioned the ENFP is often able to put on exactly the kind of an image he needs to put on for the sake of meeting a particular external end. The ENFP is even better at this than the ENFP because he is attuned with the likes and dislikes of the people around him and the general ambience they produce, almost impeccably he will be able to recollect just the right image he needs to throw in their faces to pay the proper lip service.
“Endless clandestine rivalries spring up, and in these embittered struggles she will shrink from no baseness or meanness, and will even prostitute her virtues in order to play the trump card.”
Thus, the ENFP without sound values will merely prostitute oneself for the whims and fancies of his/her spectators. Yet one with sound inner values will teach by example. Much like the INFP, the ENFP will not need to preach or lecture to influence the external environment, he will simply wish to live out his values, as famously demonstrated by Leo Tolstoy. There can be no doubt that ENFPs, as feelers and Extroverted perceivers have an intense need to influence the environment (as mentioned in the earlier allusion to them being over-represented in journalism), yet they shall not aspire to do this in the conventional Extroverted Judging way by imposing their principles on others. Such ENFPs will truly walk the talk and stand by their commitments and values, and will rarely attempt to act merely for effect. They will not be letting down those who have been taken aback by their sincerity and depth of Feeling, as their behavior will be consistent and well thought out. The quest and morality of this type will be intensely focused on the individual, as denoted by the factor of Introverted Feeling. Despite the all embracing vision represented by the Extroverted Intuition of this type, the aim of the ENFP is often elitist due to the Introversion of judgment. This is where the Extroverted Visionary differs from the Introverted. The introversion visionary (Ni), will want for all to accept and understand their vision (Extroverted Judgment shall impose on all), yet would lack the expository skills to make their ideas accessible. Yet the Extroverted Visionary aims only at the select few (Introverted Judgment), yet is able to make his ideas accessible to all. Introverted Vision is concerned primarily with the search of inner life and the outer world, the INJ will wish for all to pursue this quest. Yet the ENFP is primarily concerned with this world, much like Tolstoy and Sogyal Rinpoche, yet admittedly or not, the ENFP will only wish for the selected few to undertake the venture. This also accurately represents the social aspect of this type, as the ENFP prefers to show his true colors only to the select few who have connected with their inner values. This attests to the phenomenon of elitism in this type which is often concealed by the all embracing, everywhere and nowhere approach to life of Extroverted Intuition which is at the helm of the psyche of the ENFP.
III. Ne-Te axis
As earlier mentioned, unhealthy ENFPs are often criticized by their observers as fickle and unreliable as is often a common defect of a perceiving type. This, first and foremost is to be rectified by cultivation of Introverted Feeling which will lead this type to be true to oneself. However, the tough-minded approach to life which Extroverted Thinking offers to the ENFP is of indispensable utility. First and foremost it will provide the aforementioned grid of perception which will help the ENFP properly organize and assess the collected information. Secondly personal values will be supported with sound reasoning and the ENFP will be able to critically examine ideals to be incorporated into their value system. With acquisition of Extroverted Thinking, they will rely on the public approval even less, as at this point they will be able to see if what they have done has merit on its own right, with or without the approval of those around them. Cultivation of this function will endow the ENFP with a higher accuracy in thought and ability to retain composure. In the event of such an ENFP’s integrity being impugned, the ENFP will be less likely to be personally afflicted, but instead will examine what has happened with a sober eye. Instead of lashing out at others with most vicious personal retorts he can think of, the ENFP will manage to preclude his emotions from spiraling out of control and by virtue of this composure will remain loyal to his values. In this respect, clearly sound use of the Thinking faculty will support the Feeling oriented approach to life of this type. This will also help the ENFP conquer the self-sabboutaging tendencies typically associated with poor use of the Thinking faculty, as this type will then be able to cut back on the self-critical and denigrating thoughts. The Extroverted Thinking of such ENFPs will not function in the crude and primitive ways of simply and thoughtlessly following an impersonal agenda and proclaiming judgments of the book, but such ENFPs will be able to do sound impersonal analysis. Akin to that found in the psyche of NTJs. Another gift that this type shall be endowed with is managerial skills and ability to accomplish impersonal tasks in a timely and appropriate fashion to the external circumstances. The rational and tought-minded approach provided by Extroverted Thinking will also enable the ENFP to rely much less on the highs and lows of their Intuitive energy, as this faculty will lay down the plan for the ENFP to follow on step by step basis. ENFPs are mercurial by nature and rarely are moderate in their energy and passions, yet sound use of Extroverted Thinking will doubtlessly be a tremendous step forward to mitigate the issue.
IV. Inferior Sensing
This function is anathema to the primary faculty of Extroverted Intuition. The ENFP rarely focuses on security concerns, or information that is relevant to him directly. Yet, the shadow side often manifests itself in terms of the ENFP inaccurately representing factual information and what requires concrete observation. When Introverted Sensing escapes the grasp of the ENFP’s conscious control, it will flood in a form of sensual and memory-oriented impulses. The insights he spews will be closely linked to his memories and deeply cherished beliefs. Since the Introverted Sensing is a servile lackey of the Extroverted Intuition in such a situation, memories will often be distorted to better fit the image the Extroverted Intuition wishes to see. Such an ENFP will likely also be permeated by an intense longing for security which stands in sharp contrast with his adventurous approach to life.
Misunderstandings:
1) Weirdness. NeFi tends to give ENFPs a weird, zany kind of aura, making them come off as erratic, random, flaky, illogical and sometimes socially retarded, despite being so annoyingly likable. ENFPs tend to run circles around people and need to play with thoughts and ideas a bit before settling on a conclusion, to make sure they've seen it from all angles and to make sure it actually fits accurately into their inner world (or if their inner world needs adjusting). This playfulness can also be displayed just for fun, making it sometimes hard to see where the ENFP is going with a certain train of thought (if they're going somewhere at all with it). Rest assured though, there's always a motivation, drive and reason for it.
2)Heart on the sleeve. ENFPs connect through Fi and Fi usually doesn't waste time getting to know someone. It jumps to the intimate part of the conversation as that is who the person *really* is..which is what is relevant to Fi. And that tends to either go over extremely well, to the point where people just end up telling them their life stories and childhood trauma's or...really badly, as people just consider it rude, inappropriate and impolite, not to mention wayyy too intense
3) Flirting. Due to the ENFP tendency to jump right to the intimate part of the relationship (the need to get to know people for who they are) and them not receiving or losing the copy of the social guidelines manual, ENFPs are often perceived to be big flirts when they're actually just genuinly intrigued by people. (to avoid future derail on this, I'll admit that I too was like this but I have become a conscious flirt over time!)
4) Crude and insensitive. Their Ne can sometimes get ahead of them, causing them to toss out blunt things before socially filtering them and framing them better. This especially happens when they're overly excited about some new piece of information.
5) Attention whoring. Most ENFPs have no clue what they did wrong when they get accused of this and experience it as oppression of their right to express who they are. Once again, it's usually a clash of group values versus the need for authenticity, and a poor grasp of the social rules that is at the base of this. As they tend to experience things very profoundly, and they wear their hearts on their sleeves, the expression of these things can be perceived as an act of attention whoring, though most ENFPs don't have a clue how to play social games (once again, somehow we didn't get the manual
), though this may vary depending on the ENFP's surroundings while growing up.6) Making excuses and refusing to appologize. An ENFP will typically try to explain to the other person why they did something, not as a way to weasel out of the responsibility, but to increase understanding and harmony. Similarly, they will often not be aware of the fact that their transgression is once again in that social manual that everyone seems to know, and therefore not see it fit to actually appologize for something that to them was not intended in harm and in their eyes also didn't really harm anyone.
7) Leading people on. As ENFPs tend to share intimate details easily with others, and often have others reciprocate, a misunderstanding can arise between the two people in that relationship as to the status of the other person. ENFPs tend to love easily and like spreading that love, making people feel loved and being loved in return. It creates a special harmony, a being in sync that's very pleasurable, as well as a bond which makes everyone feel safe. However, as time is limited and there are many people to get to know and love, it can put pressure on the already existing relationships. Also, Fi doesn't require frequent contact to keep this bond alive. This often leaves the other partner feeling hurt and rejected, while the ENFP's affection really hasn't waned at all. Similarly, it can give the illusion of a stronger bond than was intended by the ENFP:
8) Not being thoughtful, reliable or considered loyal. It hurts an ENFP more than anything to hear that. The thing is, since we're stuck with our heads up in the clouds and, we value our own private time, we're a tad oblivious and we don't wanna be intrusive. That can feel like we don't care. Nothing could be further from the truth though. Ask. You'll find that an ENFP is rarely too busy not to help you, but you do have to ask. As we tend to be very easy-going and change our plans on the go, it's rarely an inconvenience to help out a friend in need. It is only if I see someone is truly overwhelmed with emotion that I'll prod them myself, to see if I can help.
9) Always talking about ME. ENFPs tend to speak in the 'I'-person, because they experience everything in such an individualistic way. Add to that that we know most people find us weird and we don't wanna speak for others who might experience things different as we're often told that we're the outsiders anyways. On top of that there's a serious need to be understood as the desire to connect is there but clearly it's hard as we're weird
This tends to grate people to no end, despite the good intentions of
the ENFP as it seems to be all about 'him'. Also, we work with analogies
a lot, which is our way of relating. When someone tells us something,
the way to let them know that we understand what they're saying is by
equally sharing a similar story. Quid pro quo basically. You tell me
something about yourself and I'll sync up with you by sharing something
similar about myself. This is the way to get to know each other.
Unfortunately, we can get wrapped up in that process, and get
overenthused in sharing...10) Appearing shallow - Because ENFPs use Ne to take information, we tend to jet from topic to topic. As Perceiving types, we are also apt to associate with other points of view easily, and are always after more information. Add Fi to the mix, and it results in us being interested in, and caring about, pretty much anything that comes to mind. However, to those who don't know us as well, this can easily come off as superficiality, fake engagement, and wishy-washiness - in short, being shallow. We also love to be silly and sarcastic, and we tend to keep an overall light tone. This does not mean that we don't think about or understand pain, destruction, cruelty, and other darker or more serious things in life. Most of us do, far more often than we let on. However, we don't generally see it conflicting with our ability to have a good time: to us, it's all a part of the grand song and dance of life. Just like being considered uncaring or disloyal, shallow is one of the last things we would ever like to be called, and we don't mean to come off that way. Our interest is real, as is our care. If you need us to be more serious, just let us know.
1) Chaos, chaos, chaos. My god, do we live in a world of chaos. Plz don't ask me where my phone is, or my keys, though I will find things that I don't use that often easily in my mess. And there's no way I have the attention span to actually make a system and stick to it
2) Flakiness. Wherever the mood takes me, is where I go, making it hard to plan *anything* or not feel forced when I do agree to something when later I don't feel like it anymore
3) Indecisiveness/procrastination Too many damned options and all of the appealing, or worse..all of them not good enough! What's an ENFP to do except for wait, procrastinate and hope it another option presents itself!
4) Self-absorbed. Living with my head in the clouds, I don't always see what's going on around me, sorry, and I so don't know how to turn that off! Plz, if you need my help, I'll gladly give it to you, just tap me on the shoulder to get me back to reality though
5) Drama Queen. Fi can feel sooooo f*cking intense, it burns. The pain can be overwhelming. Unloading on others however...not very nice, however hard it can be to contain yourself. Learning social rules and having a close friend who understands you is a definite must.
6) Maintaining a network. My god, do I suck at that and does it drain me. But it is vital, if you care for your friends. I do my best to be there for my friends, but I warn them all in advance that if I ignore them, it's not on purpose and they just have to whack me harder over the head, coz I can be sometimes very hard to reach due to my obsession with new shiny and self-reflecting.
7) No follow-through whatsoever. This is suchhhh a pain. There's so much to do an d so little time to do it in that often, when we start a project and see where it should end up, but obstacles get in the way, we get impatient. And the next little bit of shiny is already tempting us. Since we're bogged down in the process and we've seen in our mind how it will likely end, it's just more alluring to figure out the next bit of shiny instead of waiting for things to come together
8) And then..when we do get into that 'Must follow through!'-phase..get out of our way. Yeah, I truly hate that one as well. It's the whole, 'This shit needs to be done and otherwise I'm just sitting around wasting my time so get the f*ck out of my way, now!' thing. Te. Since we're not exactly that good at it and cannot swing it around for that long (it's frigging tiresome!), most of us tend to have the finesse of a frigging bulldozer when wielding that thing. It just makes people run for cover. The second I invoke that, I'm beyond patience, and things better start happening, even if I have to ram things through people's throats, or start hitting a machine hard. It better be working, dammit! And the second there's the smallest hitch, the thing/person responsible is in serious trouble. This results in my tossing my phone somewhere hard, and freaking people out by the authoritive tone in my otherwise so chipper or calm voice. I've been told my eyes shoot thunderbolts and could kill a man the second I get that way. The reason for this is, I'm in a situation I don't wanna be in, I cannot avoid (see next point!) and I wanna get out, NOW! You're a moron if you stand in my way, seriously. End of discussion.
9) Avoidance. Man, I love that strategy. If I can avoid problemsolving, especially if it's somethign that requires a lot of work, energy or thinking things through, I will. If I can wing it, I'll take that over planning it out and going through it, as it's such an energy saver. Gets me in all kinds of trouble when I overestimate my capacity to wing it though
(I'm slowly getting better at planning only a little while mixing it with winging it though )10) Oversensitivity. Because an ENFP struggles to tame the Fi-beast, and the pain can be intense, it is very easy to cause emotional turmoil in an ENFP, especially when addressing the part of them that they're either very proud of in a negative way, or the parts that they're very insecure about. The reason for this is that the ENFP is already aware of this, or doesn't feel accepted, and it's like rubbing salt into a wound or denying them the right to be themselves. An ENFP is also unlikely to go push other peoples buttons like that, unless they're for some reason oblivious to them (Ne-hyperdrive) or angry with that person for some reason (Te-hammer, lethal at that point!), and will most of the time feel really guilty about doing so later and likely appologize for it. For that reason, they can very much overreact when someone does point out their flaws or talk about their person (or what they perceive to be a personal attack in any case), as they themselves would never cause anyone willingly that kind of harm. Little do/did they know that others don't have that same experience and therefore do not respond in the same way. Often, I would envy those that were able to take criticism so well, but for the life of me did not understand how they remained so calm under it all, or didn't consider it rude.
My own specific issues:
1) I really really hate what I perceive to be emotional guilttripping ( I grew up in a house of Fe-people, not all equally healthy). It makes me rebel beyond all reason. If you ask me to do something for you genuinly, I'll jump through every hoop to make it so, if I know it to be important to you. Whine that I haven't done it yet, while you didn't even ask, and I'll bend over backwards and cut my own throat before I give you what you want. I *am* working on this
2) I hate bureaucracy and housework with a vengeance. It is mindboggling boring, always comes back, you're never done with it and it doesn't gain me any satisfaction at all, not to mention it feels like something you get forced into again (see 1)). These days, I've found that if I need to mull things over, I just get started on a simple task that needs doing as well, that way I don't feel pressured for that task and I can put my mind to work on something else.
4) I love freedom but leadership can be draining on me. I rather be the 'right hand', as constantly having to think ahead, plan and direct people can be quite daunting.
Thursday, December 1, 2011
Petrov the Thinker
I'm Petrov the Thinker
I'm Very Very Smart
I'm sure you wont believe me friends
but thinking is an art
Like an athlete or musician
I must be in good condition
If your asking how I'm keeping in the
pink
I think!
I'm Petrov the Thinker
I'm very very wise
I started thinking young before I
opened up my eyes
They said my mind was worth a lot
Because it was giving birth to thought
The doctors are finding what the cause
is
Pregnant Pauses...
And when it came to money
Believe me I made lots
For everybody offered me
A penny for my thoughts
I'm petrov the thinker
By now you know the name
I'm number one for everyone
In Mental Hall of Fame
And Every Ignoramus
Asked me how I got so famous
Did I study? Did I practice? I did not!
I thought
and thought
and thought and thought and thought.
My god did I thought. You will not
realize how I thought...All my waking hours every minute, every day,
thought...
How Now Brown Cow I thought.
Thats how I'm discovering the secrets
of succesful thinking
A secret even the greatest philosophers
cannot teach you
Spinoza Can't, Hegel Cant, and Kant
Cant
But...
First you must think about something to
think about
Then when you thought that you think it
Maybe a bell or a puss in the well, or
a string, or a ring or a trinket
then quick as a wink you must sit down
and think nevermind what the thought is abouta
but as soon as you got what you got
from the thought it is time that you think of another
I will never forget the time that the
great czar of russia is coming to me, and he's saying Nikolai. That's
my first name Nikolai. Petrov Nikolai he says, I have a problem. Why
is it that everytime I drop a piece of pumpernickel, it is falling
with the butter side down. Ohhh, I realize right away that he's
putting me to the test. And I realize that there isn't another man in
all of Russia who can tell him why his piece of pumpernickel is
falling with the butter side down. So I think, and I think, and I
think, and I think.
And then I find the Answer. Your
Highness I say the answer is very simple. You are buttering your
pumpernickel on the wrong side...
From this time on people are coming
from everwhere to learn the Petrov system. I am teaching to people
from all countries. And thats why you will find that today absolutely
2011 the smartest people in the world today. Think.
In England Every Cricket Player thinks
about this cricketthing
And able leaders stand in line to think
about their picketing
We know what Richard Burnam think and
Barnum thinks of Bailey
The Panels Fine on What's my Line, and
Jon Stewarts Daily
Every Russian Politician thinks about
his own ambition
And I think that this condition's
driving them to drink. Hay!
So Remember the Words of Petrov.
I'll Try to Be Very Precise.
Your life can be so much better-off
If you'll only take my advice
Yes My Friends
Do You Realize that you can live to 127
years old? If you listen to Petrov. First, You must got to live for
126 years. Then... You have to be very very careful!
Though Petrov the thinker is brilliant
to the core
You probly wonder why you never heard
of him before
I will tell you confidentially
That Petrov is Essentially
A Thinker of Imaginary Kind.
Petrov the thinker, may think he's a
thinker
But Petrov is all in my Mind!
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