Dear World

Dear World,

I'm a good person. So I'm finding it very difficult to come to terms with your actions over, shall we summarize to, the last six months. I have constantly put myself out into the fray, where my emotions would be at stake because I believe that someone might care about me the same way I care about others, and that I might be free to experience intimacy in the way we were all intended. Without those I open up to running away, or just hating what they see. I dont understand what is so dislikeable about me. People who are honest and straightforward when the moment is appropriate are the people who actually do the right thing rather than just looking like it. I dont want to be noone, then my dad wins. I dont want to be a failure, then my dad wins. I dont want to be alone, then I've become the thing I hate most in the world. I will not turn my back on those who would need me. But I cannot help others at my expsense, or else my own burdens will mount until I can no longer function. I want to let go of the hate. For the girl who I gave my heart to and had it tossed away like it was meaningless and later scorned  as though it were repugnant. I am not so disgusting as the state of your soul. To the man who brought me into this world only to teach me everything that it lacked and that I would fail. I find my life has more value than you could even dream. To my mother who throuhg lack of understanding would make me a slave. I cannot take up the mantle that has been presented. To the girl I currently care about, you are worth waiting for....But I am worth being with. If you cant see that, then you deserve my heart no more than those who have thrown me away before. My value lies deep within, but it is there and I will not let it slip away. If you care, dont let me slip away from you.

-Your Friend

Impossible Dream

To dream the impossible dream
To fight the unbeatable foe
To bear with unbearable sorrow
To run where the brave dare not go

To right the unrightable wrong
To love pure and chaste from afar
To try when your arms are too weary
To reach the unreachable star

This is my quest
To follow that star
No matter how hopeless
No matter how far

To fight for the right
Without question or pause
To be willing to march into Hell
For a heavenly cause

And I know if I'll only be true
To this glorious quest
That my heart will lie peaceful and calm
When I'm laid to my rest

And the world will be better for this
That one man, scorned and covered with scars
Still strove with his last ounce of courage
To reach the unreachable star

Ice Prisons

     I really don’t understand the bullshit that comes out of peoples mouths sometimes. It’s like everyone is in search of an honest person. Someone who is always there cares about what they do for them and not for themselves. Yet, the moment that push comes to shove they’d rather have someone who has no interest in them. That will keep their mouth shut. They create boundaries in order to keep themselves safe from the reality that they have created. That this person, this truthful idiot just blunders through because he cares. I’m a semi-smart person, but somehow I am truly a blundering idiot. Its as though the fact that I care and love others somehow is oppressive and all I want to do is talk. I don’t think about the insignificant details, I don’t understand keeping lies from the world, its like those states escape my mind even though I’m aware they exist. Maybe I’m a dreamer, maybe I’m stupid, maybe I’m lost in my own world. I really believe that we all deserve better than this. That we can all understand and be there for each other the same way that we are for a child who needs a bedtime story, or is crying. That we all care like how we feel when someone is on their deathbed and we want nothing more but to be there for them in those last moments.
 

    Why do so many people hate? What are so many people afraid of?

    I want to experience life as a flight, something that I act as myself every moment and don’t have to be ashamed because I care too much. I want to not have to keep secrets from the world just in order to get ahead, I want to share my secrets with the world that the whole world will be the better for it. We take all of this world and we try to separate it, yet we cant seem to notice that it is connected whether we want it to be or not. A tree is ALIVE! A car is ALIVE! We should live ALIVE! That our skin, and the air surrounding our body is a fire that sparks the true gift of our world into every moment. I cry more nights than I care to think of because I want the world to see the beauty.  I cry because we get so concerned with our petty problems that we can’t see that some dating dilemma is nothing compared to the hunger of a child, or any one of us starved for love. People have tried to get me to deal with this sadness, tried to make it make sense for me and that I will just let it go and “get used to it”. “It’s something you just have to live with”…Well its not something that I want to live with, I don’t want to be ok with it, I want us all to have that inner fire that we lost. I want us all to find that passion and drive that the world screams from the seams with. 

    Cast off the ice prison that we have created for ourselves, be utterly vulnerable, embrace one another as you wish to be embraced. I cry, because I don’t want anyone else to have to cry without someone to cry to.

Weasels!

Weasels are out to get you! Weasels that are hiding behind your eyes are searching desperately to escape! Function not as weasels do, but function as men. Have you ever seen the sunrise set? Have you ever seen the waterfall stand still? These are the proper things for man, to see nature as it is. Not as it spins by. Spinning in a cosmic soup bowl, alphabet soup spelling Eureka! Isn’t that curious? That life passes by as soon as we hope to grasp it. The ancient Greeks said you can’t step in the same river twice, but it’s not the same river as soon as you step into it. However by letting ourselves embrace the river for what it is, a river by whatever name we assign, it comes alive and is one the same as life. 

I was thinking this morning about why people are afraid of love. It is because you must realize that rather than sitting on the shoreline you must submerge yourself into the river. You must embrace the beauty of the world as you are rushed past by the currents. So much of humanity is on the shore that the river is barely able to make a wave. What is love? It is an all-embracing acceptance of the world around you. It is seeing with wonder and wanting to help and participate in the beauty that is existence. It is the journey from creation to creator. Not to a God necessarily, but to Man as an active participant and creator in the universe

So Weasels or Love?

Lay a Smile Today Pays Double in Many Ways

Lost Hearts are Found Easily

A Dream

I am a ridiculous person. Some call me a madman. That would be a promotion if it were not that I remain as ridiculous in their eyes as before. But now I do not resent it, they are all dear to me now, even when they laugh at me — and, indeed, it is just then that they are particularly dear to me. I could join in their laughter — not exactly at myself, but through affection for them, if I did not feel so sad as I look at them. Sad because they do not know the truth and I do know it. Oh, how hard it is to be the only one who knows the truth! But they won't understand that. No, they won't understand it.

I go to spread the tidings, I want to spread the tidings — of what? Of the truth, for I have seen it, have seen it with my own eyes, have seen it in all its glory. I have seen the truth; I have seen and I know that people can be beautiful and happy without losing the power of living on earth. I will not and cannot believe that evil is the normal condition of mankind. And it is just this faith of mine that they laugh at. But how can I help believing it? I have seen the truth — it is not as though I had invented it with my mind, I have seen it, seen it, and the living image of it has filled my soul forever. I have seen it in such full perfection that I cannot believe that it is impossible for people to have it.

I wonder of the man who lies to himself, and believes his own lies, becomes unable to recognize truth, either in himself or in anyone else, and he ends up losing respect for himself and for others. When he has no respect for anyone, he can no longer love, and in him, he yields to his impulses, indulges in the lowest form of pleasure, and behaves in the end like an animal in satisfying his vices. And it all comes from lying — to others and to yourself. Fathers and teachers, I ponder, "What is hell?" I contemplate that it is the suffering of being unable to love. Do you know that ages will pass and mankind will proclaim in its wisdom and science that there is no crime and, therefore no sin, but that there are only hungry people. "Feed them first and then demand virtue of them!" — that is what they will inscribe on their banner which they will raise against you. What terrible tragedies realism inflicts on people! But what happiness we can find through knowing the source of unhappiness.

I have such a dream! What is a dream? And is not our life a dream? I will say more. Suppose that this paradise will never come to pass (that I understand), yet I shall go on preaching it. And yet how simple it is: in one day, in one hour everything could be arranged at once! The chief thing is to love others like yourself, that's the chief thing, and that's everything; nothing else is wanted — you will find out at once how to arrange it all. And yet it's an old truth which has been told and retold a billion times — but it has not formed part of our lives! The consciousness of life is higher than life, the knowledge of the laws of happiness is higher than happiness — that is what one must contend against. And I shall. If only everyone wants it, it can be arranged at once.

Rules?

People are stupid, they will believe something because they want it to be true; or they're afraid it might be true.

Do you have a face?

    Given proper motivation, almost anyone will believe almost anything. Because people are stupid, they will believe a lie because they want to believe its true, or because they're afraid it might be true. Peoples' heads are full of knowledge, facts and beliefs, and most of it is false, yet they think it all true. People are stupid; they can only rarely tell the difference between a lie and the truth, and yet they are confident they can, and so are all the easier to fool.

    While people are stupid, this is not the end of the road. We can proceed with who we are beyond this foundation of ignorance. We must shatter our preconceptions in order to proceed with reason and love. People may want to believe that everything is wrong with the world, while they lay in bed with the one they love. People may want to believe that the world is filled only with good things, as they watch wickedness happen every day. The world is filled with what we put in it, and sometimes we put things in it which are not good. This is not what we have to do. We can make so much more than deeds into this world. We can infuse meaning into every moment and suck the marrow out of life so to speak.

    Do not allow yourself the temptation to not question your life, but also realize that you must accept the foundation you have set at some point. Your life means something. It means something to me, and it should mean something to you. Accept that what exists, exists. It can be changed, altered, or removed, but it exists. Our perceptions of existence may be wrong. However whatever does exist, exists. 

    Do not allow fear to run you. Your world cannot be what you make it if through fear you allow it to exist in a way that is not to your benefit. It is through courage that we can face the world and shape it. Do not allow your desire for how you wish the world to be to shape how you see it, it is only through honesty that we can rise each morning with sincere love for the world we have arisen into.

    Forever the world waits, we shall create.

A pickle or a better cucumber?

Passion enters a family fierily

The Ocean

    People have often looked up at the stars and hoped that someone would be looking back. People have looked into others faces and searched for love, and they reach out hands begging for someone to pick them up. When did we forget that we really all belong to one another. Anyone who knows me knows that I am a proponent of personal responsibility, and with my responsibility I can tell the world that I belong to them. I don’t expect the world to need me, but I need the world.

    Someday I plan to settle down and start making a family of my own. However I realized that my overemphasis on the individual has separated me from the people that I already belonged to. I couldn’t even understand that the world was giving me signs all along. My mind gave me the perfect tools to rationalize what is totally useless as being useless. The all-importance of what I’m doing.  I don’t know who you are but I love you.

    Love that had been restricted to my romantic partner now set free. Freedom to love the elderly, the sick, anyone on the street, anyone I might meet, I might not know how to connect to you or even know you exist but I love you. I love the life that is placed not under my feet, but all around me and everywhere.

    My heart is already reaching, as the wave leaves foam on the sand.

I Wont Argue with This

Why did the chicken cross the road.

I have often been asked in my life why is it that I act the way I act. Well, because who else is a better actor of me than I am? I'm not really an actor at heart, but what is a heart for in todays world. A nobody once said There are two rules in life. 1) Never tell them everything you know. This is a pretty wise statement for a man who didn't exist in any other facet than the creation of this quote. Apparently he knew to say so little that no one would even know he existed.

So, have you ever really thought about why the chicken crossed the road. I've spent a great deal of time trying to figure that exact question. It's a meadow for all lost vegetarians.


Seriously, have you met a chicken who wasn't afraid of a vegetarian? Most chickens run the other way saying, "Holy shit I thought I smelled bad." And they do smell bad, so atleast they arnt mistaken. I know, I know what you're thinking. Yes, when a chicken takes a bath it doesn't smell so bad anymore. At least the chicken has a chance once he makes it to the other side.

Speaking of chickens with their heads cut off. Look around the room, for the guillotine, if you don't see one you're in trouble. It means your head is still attached.

 

A Sunbeam Today Means Clouds Can't Stay

Thoughts Watched are Thoughts Lost